Of all the things that I write about natural childbirth, if you learn nothing else from me please let me share with you this single truth, and allow yourself to believe it. Despite everything that you may have seen, heard, read or thought throughout your life time that has lead you to believe that natural childbirth is this excruciating and horribly painful experience, let me tell you, that is not the truth!
For many women I think that they end up having painful childbirths simply because they didn’t know better. There was no one there to educate them, to tell them, “Hey it doesn’t have to be this way, natural childbirth does not have to be painful!”
I was fortunate to come from a line of women who have given natural childbirth and so this information was readily passed down to me, but for many of you who may be the pioneers of natural childbirth in your family this may be new to you.
So let me be the one to tell you that there are very simple steps and techniques to eliminating labor pain. And that you directly affect how much, if any pain you experience during natural childbirth by the choices that you make.
If you adopt these easy tips it will make giving birth a whole heck of a lot easier for you!
Redefine Pain and Release it from Your Natural Childbirth
You will experience what you expect to experience, so if you expect pain then that is what you’ll get. I know we’ve been told our whole lives that it is going to hurt so changing this in our minds may be a little tricky, but it can be done! Part of the problem with the belief that natural childbirth is filled with pain really just comes from our lack of a better word for it. Our language is too narrow; we have simply one word (pain) to describe virtually anything that we deem as unpleasant. However the word pain is not appropriate in all situations.
Definition of Pain:
“An unpleasant feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli, such as stubbing a toe, burning a finger, putting alcohol on a cut, and bumping the “funny bone.” [2]The International Association for the Study of Pain’s widely used definition states, “Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage. [3]Pain motivates the individual to withdraw from damaging situations, to protect a damaged body part while it heals, and to avoid similar experiences in the future.”
So there it is, pain is our body’s way of communicating with us. When our body experiences something that is not a natural part of its healthy process it sends us a signal that tells us, “Hey don’t do that again or it is going to cause damage!”
This definition of pain does not apply to natural childbirth. It is not an injury, an illness or a disease. It is not something your body has to protect itself from. It is not your body going wrong! It is actually quite the contrary; it is your body working perfectly to do the job that it is supposed to be doing. It is birthing your baby.
The Difference between Pain and Pressure in Natural Childbirth
During natural childbirth your body will work harder than it ever has before, all systems are Go! Every part of your body will become fully activated. And this will create sensations that are all new to you, that you have never experienced before. But it is not neccesarily pain unless you chose to turn it into pain.
It’s important to understand what is happening in your body during birth. Your uterus is going to be rhythmically contracting and then releasing, contracting and then releasing. This will build in strength and intensity until your baby is born. While it is firmly contracting inwards your baby is little by little being pushed downward. Now this is not something that you actively do, it is something that your body does perfectly all on its own. And as long as you can relax enough not to get in its way, then it will continue to do its job, and you will continue to experience it as a very strong sturdy pressure.
But if you react to those new sensations by tensing up, then your body is going to try to help you by communicating with you in the only way it knows how to. It will send you a signal of pain to tell you, “Hey stop doing that, don’t clinch up! I can’t do my job well if you’re gonna be fighting against me.”
So if you do feel pain it is because your muscles are clinched, and your body is trying to tell you to release and relax.
Now I know that it can be a challenge to relax when all of that pressure is going on inside of you. But here are some easy tips that are designed to help you stay relaxed so that your body can do its work.
An Open Mouth = an Open Vagina
This one is easy. Open your mouth. Let it hang wide open. It doesn’t matter if you feel foolish; when you are giving birth looking foolish should be the last thing from your mind. There are two big reasons for keeping an open mouth during natural childbirth.
One: Your jaw is a control valve for all of the sphincters in your body. (This is important because your vagina is a sphincter, it is a muscle that opens and closes.) When your jaw is clinched tight so are your sphincters, when your jaw is nice and relaxed and open so are your sphincters. An open mouth = an open vagina.
Two: When your mouth is closed it is too easy to clinch your teeth and jaw together when you feel the pressure from your contractions. This clinching of your jaw subsequently clinches and tightens your whole body which will result in your body sending you that pain signal to tell you to stop doing that. Your body needs to be able to freely move, expand, contract and make space for your baby to come down. To allow this to happen without pain you need to stay nice and relaxed, soft and pliable. Let your mouth hang loose and open. An open mouth = an open vagina.
Vocalize to Release Pressure and Let it Out
As your uterus contracts and the pressure and energy begins to build inside of you, do not hold it all in. It helps to find a way to move it through and let it out. Vocalizing is a great way to move the energy through, and to prevent it from compounding! Again get over looking foolish, none of that matters. Just release and let go!
Do Not Underestimate the Power of Your Breath
You can actually control the amount of intensity that is experienced through learning how to move it through with your breathing. If you make the mistake of holding or breath or not breathing fully then your body has a hard time continuing on with it’s job because it is being restricted and deprived of essential oxygen. And that is when pain comes in to the picture, because again your body is telling you, “don’t do that.” Don’t constrict your breath, just let it flow. Here is a video with some tips on how to breathe effectively. It starts out a little rocky so I recommend starting around 4:00
Learn Spiraling: The Best Natural Childbirth Technique Out There
First of all you’ll want to always stay upright when giving natural childbirth, the hospitals version of birth with the Mother lying on her back is the worst possible position you can be in, and the most painful. While you are upright the physical act of spiraling may be the biggest and most valuable natural childbirth technique of them all! Actual movement in your body is the best way to move the energy through without allowing it to compound.
Only Use Positive Self Talk and Visualization
Natural childbirth is experienced on two levels, a physical level and a mental level. Your thoughts are as real as anything during birth and what you think will become your reality.
Whatever you do, do not say a single negative thing to yourself during birth.
Do not ever say, “this hurts,” I can’t do this,” or anything that will place doubt or fear into your mind. The only thing those negative thoughts will do is cause you to tense up. And as we already know tensing up will cause your body to send you pain in an attempt to communicate with you, “stop doing that!”
Instead trust birth, and trust your body. Always tell yourself that it feels good. Repeat to yourself over and over and over again with every pressure wave, “aaah this feels GREAT!” Imagine yourself in the midst of a very enjoyable experience and it will be enjoyable. Imagine and tell yourself open, open, open and you will easily open.
Get in the Water It Feels Great!
Water is an ancient secret to birth, woman have been entering into the water to birth their babies since time began. They have gone into lagoons, the sea and other bodies of water to birth their babies simply because it feels good. Nowadays since most of us birth inside we use water birth tubs. I suggest getting one that allows for you to stay upright while you are in it, they can be rented online, or you can buy a big kiddie pool, or even use your bath tub.
Water is so effective at easing labor pain that it is often referred to as natures epidural. And I can attest to how wonderfully it works! It immediately reverses the effects of gravity, so the pressure becomes much less, and much more tolerable. The minute you step into the water your body is able to relax much easier. Also water gives you that feeling of weightlessness so it is much easier to move flow and sway into positions that feel comfortable to you which is a huge help! And in no way are you committed to staying in the water, you can always get in and out at any time.
None of these techniques are new, they are ancient secrets that have been passed down through generations of Mothers and Grandmothers who have been giving natural childbirth since the beginning of time. They sure did work amazingly for me! My birth was the furthest thing from the painful births that we are accustomed to seeing in the movies. If you have never seen the video of my birth I welcome you to watch it. Just click on my birth video on the top of the page. I look forward to hearing how these natural childbirth techniques work for you, and if you have any tips to share that helped you to eliminate labor pain I would love to hear about them!
Great tips! One I’d like to add is preparing for childbirth with Hypnobabies. It enables you to replace that deep subconscious programming that tells you that childbirth HAS to be painful and they teach you how to release natural hypno-anesthesia within your body.
We’re really excited for our 1st birth in June! 🙂 As a Hypnobabies instructor and hypno-doula I’ve seen so many beautiful, peaceful births and I’m looking forward to finally experiencing my own!
Yes! Hypnobabies is great, I actually used Hypnobabies to prepare for my birth. I felt like alot of it was a little too focused on hospital births, but that’s only because i was doing a homebirth. But the scripts and affirmations were so nice to keep my mind filled with positive. Really any form of hypnobirthing I would suggest, even if it’s just writing down your own affirmations and reading them everyday. Thank you for adding that! : )
i will have to say i agree with everything in this article, and its kinda what ive been trying to tell people for a long, long time! i was prepared for my birth, i viewed it as “pain with a purpose” instead of excruciating pain. and it worked. i dialated to 4.5 without feeling anything in the last 3 weeks (or so). when i was “admitted”, i had a 7.5 hour labor. and though i remember what i thought was transition feeling pretty rough, i was more annoyed by the fact that some nurse kept asking me if i wanted something. come on. back off. LOL.
anyway. thanks for this great article!!! 🙂
The power of suggestion is so awesome! I had a friend who went into the hospital to have her baby and she was doing fine, I mean she was feeling intense sensations and quite a bit of pressure, which of course is a normal part of birth but was totally ok with it. Well the nurse kept asking her if she wanted the epidural, and she kept saying, “no I’m fine.” And then the nurse said to her, “Honey you better do the epidural now because you are going to be in alot of pain!!!” And in that moment she said that is when the pain came rushing into the picture, suddenly she WAS in pain. The minute she allowed herself to believe the nurses suggestion that she was going to be in pain is the minute her birth became painful. That’s why it is so important to have the right people at your birth, only people you can trust to remain positive, loving and helpful, not inject their own negativity or fears on you. The wrong people can definately sabotage your birth!
Great article! I just had a natural birth with my first in December and I was very lucky to have an amazing doula to remind me of all of these techniques during my labor. I was really committed to having a natural birth and did as much as I could to prepare myself and rid myself of the mainstream idea that birth is excruciatingly painful and impossible without an epidural.
I think it is so important for women trust themselves. I have so many friends are terrified of birth and the pain that they have been told comes along with it. I found labor to be an amazingly powerful and empowering experience. I was amazed out how wonderful I felt after giving birth to my daughter and I was walking around and on cloud nine almost immediately. I was so used to seeing my friends half numb and sick from the epidural.
Absolutely! When you allow birth to be gentle and not forced then that’s how it works, you end up feeling GREAT afterwards, and the healing time is alot less! I was the same way immediately afterwards I was feeling Amazing! That’s another one of the great “side effects” of having a natural birth where you are working with your body and not against it…the joy of having little to no side effects at all! It is important to note though, even if you do feel like Super Woman afterwards, like you want to get up and run around the house it’s still important to resist that urge and take it easy, allow your body the time to rest and heal. And take full advantage of other poeple taking care of you 😉
What do you do with the spiraling, when the woman is too tired to stand on her feet, she doesn’t want to go in the water (really feels uncomfortable there) & the knees hurt when on all fours? How can this be done in a i.e. side lying position?
thank you for your thoughts
Joyce
That’s a really good question Joyce. I can totally relate. There were definately times when I was TIRED, my knees were hurting the whole deal. It REALLY helped a ton to be in the water because when I was just too tired to keep on spiraling my birth partner would hold my hands and move me in that spiral, and scince I was in the water my body just flowed in that spiral with his help and with little effort from me. But if the Momma doesn’t want to get in the water one way might be for her to lean over a birthing ball, with her chest lying on it, she would have to be on her knees but she could move her hips in that position or have her birth partner help her out. Also sitting on the ball while her birth partner holds her hands and helps her along that spiral is another option. Giving birth is in no way easy, it is hard work, and you do get tired, but you just gotta keep on going. Just like climbing a mountain, when you think you just can’t take another step, you do take one more and then another and before you know it you’ve made it to the top.
Very clear, and a lot I do use / suggest.
What do you do with the spiraling, when the woman is too tired to stand on her feet, she doesn’t want to go in the water (really feels uncomfortable there) & the knees hurt when on all fours? How can this be done in a i.e. side lying position?
thank you for your thoughts
Joyce
I love this! I had water births with both my boys and used all these great techniques, I also tried to visualize my ideal birth over and over and over before it was even close to time. When it finally came it was better than I had even hoped for 🙂 intense yes, painful definetly not!
Hello, thank you very much for this tips, I think they are great.
I just wanted to say that water really is the “natures epidural”, and if mothers doesn’t have the chance to have birth in the water, they can take a shower, that really helped me to eliminate labor pain.
Hi april!i want to thank you for your wonderful attitude. i am due in one week and over the past few weeks i have been reading your blog and it has helped me to feel truly prepared for the birth experience. Throughout this whole pregnancy, people have been talking to me about pain and everything i have read says pain pain pain… i have felt that it does not have to be pain. i had decided that i was going to embrace the sensation and let it happen and it wouldnt be painful for me. i felt like fighting against it would be what caused the pain. you are the only person who has expressed that same veiw.thank you so much for confirming what i have been telling myself and everyone this whole time. i am so glad to have learned your tips about keeping your jaw relaxed and spirlaing and i know they will be instrumental in the birth. Your birth video was beautiful and i was weeping in the best way by the end of it. I also read about your vision about special children coming here and i had a very similiar vision about my baby. it really is happening! you are great and i wish i could have taken your class, but i am in california.
Couldn’t have put it better myself, my son is nearly 3 weeks old and his birth wasn’t painful at any stage – some intense sensations but it was always completely manageable. The 8th secret I would add is choose your support people and environment carefully so that you always feel safe and supported and know that your interests are being advocated for when you are staying focused on the birth. Great article. Thanks.
Dear April, Shalom from Jerusalem! Not only do I greatly appreciate the information you have posted on your website, as I teach the same material/techniques/and tips in my birth preparation classes, but I also LOVE your beautiful artwork. Are you the artist?
Wishing you much success in your important work to help women experience birth as a positive, uplifting event!
All the best,
Chava
http://www.chavaddoula.com